The rollercoaster ride

The rollercoaster ride

My last chemo treatment went well today as I was medicated with steroids that kept away any adverse reactions. And…I got to ring the chemo bell announcing my last chemo treatment. But there is still the roller coaster ride that was unexpected.

The roller coaster ride 

Today my doctor canceled the mastectomy set for January 28th and reversed the hospital’s decision to schedule me for surgery just 12 days after my last chemo treatment. The doctor said this was unsafe and would put me at additional risk. He said that even with the shots that would bring my white cells up, it was unsafe for my body to handle major surgery so soon after my last chemo. After 8 chemo treats, with 4 of those with an especially harsh treatment, these build up in the body and need to be given enough time to heal properly. My doctor instructed the hospital to put me back to the original date of February 11th, 2014.

He also told me about the decision to go for the cure and how that relates to having the lymph nodes removed from under my arm. He said that even if the chemotherapy completely removed the cancer, there would still be minute cancer cells that would remain that they could not detect. If they did not remove the places where the cancer existed, it could come back and spread from the lymph nodes. At that point it would go to other organs and no longer be curable. So if I want to “go for the cure” I need to submit to the axillary resection even if it caused me to have a swollen arm.

I am going to listen and obey because life is precious, even more precious than how I look. I will still ask God to bless me with a good outcome for my arm as well, and then let Him choose how best to bless me.

This has been a roller coaster day, but I know who can still the storm and calm my fears.

9 thoughts on “The rollercoaster ride

  1. I mentioned you again at our elder’s meeting tonight. Some know of you from the past, so I trust we will continue to join your prayer team (my wife and I also pray as we remember).
    Nehemiah prayed and worked. You are wise to rely on prayer and the best that medicine can offer.

  2. Thank you godrulz37. I really appreciate you lifting me up in prayer with the elder team and with your family prayers. The plan of my doctors is not what I want, but I cannot rely on my own wisdom. I have to rely on God, prayer, and wisdom from years of medical advances that God also uses to heal. I will not reject what he has for me.

  3. I am not surprised at the the delay in surgery as what you have been through is tough and the body can only handle so much. As your doctor says sit back and heal a little first, then on to the next step. Take care and heal first. You may not have swelling in the arm, who knows. As for the disfigurement, that is only on the outside, you are a beautiful caring person and that’s what counts.

  4. Thank you Ruth for your encouragement. I think your words are wise and I take them to heart. I cannot worry right now about what has not yet happened and I keep saving my life at the forefront. No matter how I feel about a damaged body and possible disfigurement, it all needs to be weighed against the opportunity for life. I have already lost my hair and my eyebrows and my eyelashes. IfI can make it through these things that so often stopped women from going through with chemo, then the other side effects should also be a bump on the pat to walk over. And if I can be an encouragement to others to place life first, then I will feel my own journey has been worth it.

  5. Dear Cheryl,
    We will be praying for you at the bible study tomorrow, dear friend.
    It’s been such a rough few months for you and Richard, but the chemo is done!! Finally.
    No matter what the outcome of the operation, I have no doubt that you will continue to be an encouragement to others.

    I will think of you when I read 2 Corinthians 4:16 “So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day.”

    Blessings to you both.

  6. Ingrid,
    These past few months have been difficult and I have learned how to accept the changes in my body as God’s permissive will that I should not fret about. I keep in front of my eyes the time when we will all stand in front of Jesus as He evaluates our life and I want to be found faithful in every way. It is the inner man that can grow and function even though we are ill, just as you said Ingrid. I want to get well enough to have no hindrance to ministry, and I want to live for Him.

    I did not expect this journey as we moved here almost 7 years ago to be in full time ministry. But I have never felt that God abandoned me. I am still in his hands. Thank you for reminding me about the outer shell is wasting away on all of us and that our encouragement comes from the continued renewal of the man within. A great word for today

  7. I Pray for Gods hand to be clearly guiding every single decision big or small for you and the Drs. Pray that not one thing that could harm or hinder your healing come within a mile of you or the hospitals or other places you go. Praying God heals quickly and continues to carry you. Sometimes I read your posts and they silence me. I’m truly amazed by your strength. You are quite the woman of faith Cheryl. I love how God is glorified through your words, it reminds me of the way your beautiful daughters art can silence as we’ll. it would appear there are two amazing women in your family. I’m so glad I get to see His gifts in both. He is faithful. Blessings and restoration to you and your loves.

  8. Jenny, I didn’t get to your comment right away as the time it came in I had entered into the black hole of suffering once I had come off the steroids.

    I am working on a post right now about the challenges that I have faced that are outside of the issues of cancer, but which are being dealt with at the same time as the cancer. In my mind there is no way at all that I had the strength I needed when everything hit me at once. It is truly a testimony of God’s sustaining grace. I do see myself as strong, but I needed to be taught that my strength was not enough. Without God’s help, i could not come out physically or emotionally whole. I think you will understand more when I finish the post.

    I appreciate the kind words that you have said about myself and my dear daughter! She is indeed amazing to me too. A true gift of God in our family!

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