My new life flow
Yesterday was a banner day for me as I looked forward to two events that were important to me. The first event was getting the results of my bone scan, which I will share in just a moment. The last event of the day was far less important but something that I had been looking forward to for a whole year. It was a wonderful experience to get my chemo curls removed. I went from a mass of curls to a real hair style for the first time in more than a year. During the past twelve months, I was completely bald for at least six months, so it was wonderful just to have hair again. But lately I found myself looking more like a woolly lamb as my longer hair was threatening to turn into ringlets. I am so thankful for my friend Shauna, who took the time to cut and shape my post chemo hair. My husband said that the cut was “terrific.” That is a first for me in such a long time. Thanks Shaun
The first event that happened to me yesterday was something that I had been eagerly awaiting. In February of 2014, I had been diagnosed with stage 4 cancer from a bone scan that showed the cancer had spread to my spine. My internist said that it had been verified by two tests so it was sure, however, my surgeon took issue with this diagnosis saying that it could be something other than cancer.
Yesterday I had my verification bone scan. My internist says that it would verify the cancer. However, after I had such a good pathology report following major surgery, he said that it could be possible that it wasn’t cancer. I really appreciate everyone who prayed for me. My prayer was that the spot on the bone scan (the other test showed two spots) would be smaller or gone. I know that many stood with me in faith. The result was that the spot was “less intense” and showed “improvement.” The first test was taken after the chemotherapy was completed. This second test followed six months later. I think my surgeon was right, and the spot is not cancer. Nonetheless, it was so encouraging for me to get that good report.
I decided even before I received the report that even if the spot had grown, I was not going back to living only in the “now.” What I mean by that is that it was so easy for me to say that I could not buy an item of clothing because I don’t know if I would get enough wear out of it before I die. I held back being “normal” by holding off plans for the future. But I have found that this is not the most profitable way to live. I need to live my life with a view of the future. I need to start projects without worrying that I may not be able to complete them. Living with the “now” upfront and in my face kept me away from the better things that seem risky but are in God’s plans for me. I will now no longer just trust Him for all of my “todays” but also for all of my “tomorrows.” I am learning how to live as a cancer survivor, not a cancer victim. It is a paradigm shift, but one that I am going to embrace fully. I am “going with the new flow.” Praise God for His grace!