Going with the new flow
My new life flow
Yesterday was a banner day for me as I looked forward to two events that were important to me. The first event was getting the results of my bone scan, which I will share in just a moment. The last event of the day was far less important but something that I had been looking forward to for a whole year. It was a wonderful experience to get my chemo curls removed. I went from a mass of curls to a real hair style for the first time in more than a year. During the past twelve months, I was completely bald for at least six months, so it was wonderful just to have hair again. But lately I found myself looking more like a woolly lamb as my longer hair was threatening to turn into ringlets. I am so thankful for my friend Shauna, who took the time to cut and shape my post chemo hair. My husband said that the cut was “terrific.” That is a first for me in such a long time. Thanks Shaun
The first event that happened to me yesterday was something that I had been eagerly awaiting. In February of 2014, I had been diagnosed with stage 4 cancer from a bone scan that showed the cancer had spread to my spine. My internist said that it had been verified by two tests so it was sure, however, my surgeon took issue with this diagnosis saying that it could be something other than cancer.
Verification
Yesterday I had my verification bone scan. My internist says that it would verify the cancer. However, after I had such a good pathology report following major surgery, he said that it could be possible that it wasn’t cancer. I really appreciate everyone who prayed for me. My prayer was that the spot on the bone scan (the other test showed two spots) would be smaller or gone. I know that many stood with me in faith. The result was that the spot was “less intense” and showed “improvement.” The first test was taken after the chemotherapy was completed. This second test followed six months later. I think my surgeon was right, and the spot is not cancer. Nonetheless, it was so encouraging for me to get that good report.
I decided even before I received the report that even if the spot had grown, I was not going back to living only in the “now.” What I mean by that is that it was so easy for me to say that I could not buy an item of clothing because I don’t know if I would get enough wear out of it before I die. I held back being “normal” by holding off plans for the future. But I have found that this is not the most profitable way to live. I need to live my life with a view of the future. I need to start projects without worrying that I may not be able to complete them. Living with the “now” upfront and in my face kept me away from the better things that seem risky but are in God’s plans for me. I will now no longer just trust Him for all of my “todays” but also for all of my “tomorrows.” I am learning how to live as a cancer survivor, not a cancer victim. It is a paradigm shift, but one that I am going to embrace fully. I am “going with the new flow.” Praise God for His grace!
4 thoughts on “Going with the new flow”
Cheryl.. I’m moved by your post. Such a long time you’ve persevered… and now you’re at a crossroads in your journey. And you’ve chosen to move out of the ‘cancer is my life for now” zone. I am struggling with some of the same issues.. not buying things because I may not be alive etc. You challenge me. I won’t know until end of August if I have lung cancer… but I plan to have a great August! Thanks for the inspiration.. and pls post a closeup of your new do!!!!!!! It’s probably great.
Thank you blumzadeline! I had to move out of the “I may not be alive” thinking because it stopped me from moving on. I was a very good decision for me to actually live free during the time I am alive and not let cancer steal anymore time from me. Whether one lives a day, a week, a month, a year or decades, time is our friend and cancer should not own our time. We do have to spend time in treatments, etc, but or mind can be on our family, our friends our calling, our gifts, wherever God will have us spend our precious moments. When we feel down because we have little time left, cancer can steal our precious moments if we let it. I choose to put the time thief behind me and live to the fullest each day I have on this earth. Each day is a gift that we can treasure no matter what shape we are in. God has given us this gift and He will help us use these moments for His glory.
I am praying for your journey as you find ways to treasure the daily gifts he gives you and I pray that He gives you many more years to serve Him!
Hi Cheryl. It is so great to hear how you are doing so well, choosing to live above the circumstances of life. Your perseverance is an inspiration. Looking forward to seeing you and Richard soon and having some good long visits. God bless you.
Thank you Karen! We look forward to visiting with you soon in a relaxed setting. We need these refreshing breaks with godly friends!